Aaaaaaaand BOOSH!

Fuck yes, Obama. Be a fucking gangster. Show those motha fuckas who’s boss. That’s right, bitch, Barack’s in CHARGE!

I do not give a Damn about Anything bad anyone has to say about this guy.  I ENJOY his Presidency. For the first time in my life I can watch the leader of your country speak on television and smile, and I mean a real smile, not the half grimace of mixed shame, incredulity, and often physical discomfort. In fact I have no recollection of a Presidential address preceding Obama that I could watch for more than ten seconds without wanting to stuff my ears with dictionary pages and devour an entire grammatical text series, just so I could shit them out in a metaphoric representation of what the previous Commander in Chief did to the language.

I don’t give a fuck about any half assed complaints about the job he’s doing as president, cuz guess what? HE’S FUCKING DOING THE JOB! And no one’s done that for a while. When you don’t clean your room for about eight years, Don’t grumble at the maid who does in for you because “you don’t like the way she does it”. Shut the fuck up and be grateful someone is doing it for you at all.

And he just cleaned up a hefty fucking mess. 2 years, bitch. That last fuckwad had eight of em to wrap up this fucking goose chase, and all he managed to do was bring us a duck. And I have no desire to listen to any shit about whether or not 9/11 was Bin Laden‘s fault, or why there wasn’t a trial, blah blah blah. Conspiracy theories are unimportant in the face of the major accomplishment of our government managing to KEEP A PROMISE! Holy shit. That does Not happen every day. Or even every Presidential term.

So yes, you cynics, crying about how humans are barbarians and murders. While that is true of our species, it doesn’t enter into the matter at hand. It’s O.K. to celebrate! It’s the only way to teach big dumb baby-like things such as our government how to act right. Any sign of success or progress needs to be celebrated and encouraged, so these dumb bitches in congress and the senate learn anything.

That said you also have to point out when they fuck up. Bailouts, Obama? WTF?!?! Cannot beLIEVE you let that one slide. What the hell. I am a bad day away from begging on the street for change. That shit is fucked up man. PLEASE can we make usury illegal? That would be an acceptable breach of church and state. Cut the crap and quit letting Americans be forced into indentured servitude for 25 years after college. And then paying off the slave drivers. Seriously dude, that’s bullshit.

But sometimes your buddy sleeps with you’re sister. And that shit sucks, but you gotta get over it. Life goes on and one day he beats the fuck out of that terrorist on the other side of the lunchroom who you’ve been waiting to see get what’s coming to them. And maybe all’s not forgotten but at least you’re friends again. And hey, he’s working on chucking those fucked up tax cuts, so at least he takes you’re sister out to the movies every now and then.

And man, the guy is fucking hilarious. I see no reason to not want this guy around. I don’t even drink, and I would totally go out for beers with this guy.

LOL! This is how you WIN! The man drops Tupac, and PULLS THAT SHIT OFF. First president to ever manage a pop culture reference and not look like a dicknose. And Trump, frankly I’ve been laughing at you the entire time. You running for presidency is almost as funny as Palin existing. Which is to say hilarious.

Trump ya later!

I like this guy, no matter how fucked up our gov’t is as a whole. He’s the first politician I can say that about, so quit trying to ruin it for me, interweb.